emo emo again...hahah

It took me a moment to decide if I should write this post. haha, that's cos' I think it's gonna be too emo...haha... so what should I do?... But I recall reading on a fren's blog (who started blogging again after a long hiatus), that he's writing neither to entertain nor to please.... Afterall, this is my place where I scribe my reflections, thoughts and initimate feelings.... so I am just gonna write anything that pleases me.. HAHA..

Over the past few weeks, I have been pondering deeply on 'loving'. It started off when I saw a very impactful string of words on a friend's blog.... "You can have everything, but if you haven't love, you are truly nothing..." Those familiar with the bible would know that's the origin of this teaching. This isn't the first time I heard this, but this time round, these words kept me thinking for a long long time. I guess these are the word for this season of my life...

Everyone must have had some bad experiences in life. Some, we chuck aside... we run from them... (and a fortunate few ) we are able to resolve... but there the ones which we simply have no power against. We build tall walls to defend ourselves.... when these experiences gets too painful, we try to anesthetise ourselves.... Sometimes we even mutilate ourselves from within with the harshest self-condemnation. What's left over after such horrid treatment is nothing but a badly scarred soul that bleeds for acceptance...cry for comfort..yearns for love.

Personally, i think the most brutal wars are not waged with swords, but those that battles within the heart. In a materialistic, superficial world today, where only the affluent, successful and beautiful gets a share of the limelight... many who find themselves far from such qualities often feel insecure, inferior and unloved. They struggle to change. Many flock to gymnasiums, beauty parlours, aesthetic clinics to get a make-over to look like the next "Brangelina".... not to get a fix for their physical flaws, but a cure for their broken self-esteem. Students no longer study for their passions. They put away the drawings of their ambitions they drew in during their childhood, and aimed hard to do business and finance for the dollars and cents. So many marriages are on the rocks, with divorce rate rocketing off the roof, few in the world now belives in eternal love.

I am not immuned to all these. So many are the times when I feel lousy and inferior compared with others. I struggle with insecurity, and lived with my heart all hardden-up, dead and unable to love... even to the extent I withdraw from people and choose to stay within the comfort of my home.... But there is definitely a better way. STOP CONDEMNING YOURSELF. STEP OUT TO LOVE. Shower care for people... It gonna take effort and practise... It may be painful... But thats life.

I love the words of my A level biology teacher... "Only dead people has no problems..."

So.. make someone's day, and he will make yours ;)