Validation

Recently, I read a pretty inspirational article from NewPaper (hmmm... ), which i hardly ever come close to reading - for the fact that I am not such a die-hard soccer fan or sports junkie. It surprised me at first that they do post some good stuff afterall, its from some local tabloid. OK, let's get it clear. This isn't some emo thing that you've been reading (as those in my previous blog entries), but something i think that's worth learning....

The article talks about the issue of self validation. In a nutshell, people are either internally or externally validated. Some quick defs:

Internally validated: People who look to themselves as the ultimate arbiter in value judgements.

Externally validated: People who primarily look externally for approvals and appraisals for their self-identity.

So like anyone, i did a quick mental assessment to see which camp i belonged to. Well sadly, I think i am the more frailed, latter.

The article went on to paint some scenarios to further illustrate the difference between the two traits..

"If you're internally validated, your evidence would from within yourself. Such a person culd design a building that wins many architectural awards but if he does not feel that it is special, all the outside approval wont't convince him it is". Sounds cocky? well, i say thats some character. But at least, an internally validated person stands for himself and not cry for approval from somewhere (be it from the top (if you are a God abidding soul ) or from your surrounding (if you too afraid to lose people around you for what you stand for).

So next comes the BIG Q, "What should I do to make yourself more internally validated?"

Well, it says, "You need to develope new patterns and ways of thinking. You have to break your old habits and trait yourself to have good habits. Being internally validated comes primarily from self confidence, which in turn comes from experience and reflection. If you've done something successfully for 10 or 20 years, you're probably self validated about that activity....So reflect hard and gain experience in these areas. Then monitor yoursel to see whether you are being needlessly swayed by your peers or whether you think and feel that way. Don't mindlessly follow or obey others. Be your own man."

oh, BTW...This actually comes from a dating section of Newpaper....the article below this one was, "How do I approach the hot girls in the clubs?". Shallow! hahhaa. so are you quite surprised at their wisom (or course, this comes after some of my careful censorship)...