just some reflections

the feeling of disappoinment really sucks. now i probably understand why atheletes cry when they don't get their gold medal in the olympics. the road to the olympics must be a lonely and arduous one. imagine the life of training hard, while all your friends are enjoying life - the olympic dream is not just a physical war, but a mental and psychological one.

what could have ben in the minds of the koreans paddlers when they were beaten by the singaporean gals, who won Singapore our very first medal after 48 years? i think it should be thoughts like "my efforts have gone down the drain", " i am not as good afterall", "my world fell apart"... afterall, their fall isnt light ....afterall, they might not have another chance...

there are always times when situations seem bleak and hopeless, and we feel like giving in to the temptation to just give up... yet another voice, small but strong whispers... "Is there not a cause?"

well, theres always a time for to cry and to be disappointed. but what's important, its to pick yourself out of the situation, and start afresh. forget about the defeats in the past, ignore whatever that seems impossible in the future. just do all you can for the present. And remember, it's not for medals, not for recognition, but for PASSION.

bee-zee busy

3rd week into the semester...Seems like everyone is showing signs of stress liaoz haha.. rushing lab reports, completing computing assignments, tutorials, reading.. and the list goes on and on. gosh, this is just the 3rd week!! TGIF! what else can i say. life's getting tougher in sch, but the tough gets goin!

well, on the bright side, i managed to finish all my assignments on time, found time to gym with Damien (well.. i still remember my 70kg goal)... but on the 'not-so-bright' note, i missed out on all the morning prayer meetings this week. somehow i just couldnt find the motivation to wake up earlier to pray... i'm not feeling guilty for not doing so, but deep down, i knew things could have been better if i prayed... but i still chose to do it on my own strength. sometimes, logic tells me "hey, sleeping less = lower productivity... that's certainly not very spirit-filled living rite? where did faith go? sometimes i find it so hard to depend on God... maybe wad pastor Tan said in church is rite. when the branch gets separated from the vine, it wouldnt die immediately due to the residual life it gets from the vine. but withering is only a matter of time.... that reminds me of...

"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me." John 15:4

阿爸父神...



Had a totally busy weekend... but didn't really accomplish much. *sads* I guess I really need a greater measure of discipline and focus.

The lyrics of this beautiful song written for the Father.


阿爸父神

我何等愛你阿爸天父
你無條件為我付出
犧牲愛子叫我得贖
你愛充滿我


主你寶血為我而流
洗淨我罪給我自由
你的愛是何等偉大
喔主耶穌


一生要讚美
我美好救主
你的愛是我生命全部
一生要敬拜
我親愛天父
你無條件的愛讓我心得滿足

screwing up.. again

well. i guess life's never a bed of roses... somethings we really screw up. Maybe i should say, we choose to screw up (...dun ask me what). maybe thats why we really need God. since He is the one who gives us grace to get back on track again.

sometimes its not the fact that we screw up that defeats us, but the shame and guilt u have of yourself when you screw up that paralyse us.

It is written,

"Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but one who was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." Heb 4:14-16

"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit." Romans 8:1

God, change me today. Strengthen my spirit.

wohoo...wohoo

haha... wohoo again.. i am so thrilled! things seems to be looking good... haha. i was expecting nothing when i checked my NTU email today. And GUESS WAD! i got an invite from URECA! anwayz, URECA stands for Undergraduate Research Experience on CAmpus...tis was really wad i wanted since sch started, to get a taste of hows research's like.... now that i got a chance to pursue it... wow! really thank God for His blessing!

other than that, i spent our 43rd national day with my cell group at our leader's place at aljunied... had quite a lot of fun eating potluck after the meeting... although food's abit cold (haha sorry, i am fussy), but it was still enjoyable.... especially playing with Howard's camera haha (cos i forgot to bring mine) =P

first week

just came home from dinner with my my frens from at Ichiban Sushi, Jurong Point. The food was palatable, but certainly not worth it's cost though...

I dug a really deep hole in my pocket this week... bought four textbks for this semester at ard $180.. ouch. But i guess its definitely gonna be worth every cent. This sem will be more consistent and better.. haha cos there's no arts/business module for me! all sciences/engineering subjects to mug for! ;)

Talking about dificult engineering subjects with abstract concepts, I often share a different view point with some of my frens. They must think I am a maniac for enjoying subjects like thermodynamics, organic chemistry (not the simple o level organic chem haha)... Well, i guess its the amount of time i spend pondering about them... always trying ways to rationalise concepts from the start to lay foundation for more difficult things. In doing so, I start to develop passion in studying these 'unlikables', because I start to understand them and see their usefulness.

Wonder if this is the same with people... there are always people we label 'unlikeable'. Will i start to love them better if i spend more time understanding them?

wohoo i got MS2006

haha.. i was abit worried i couldnt get the module i wanted... afterall, there is only one time slot out of the 5 that can fit into my current schedule. but i got it thankfully.. which means i got all the electives i wanted! wohoo... =)

Festival of Praise

*pls excuse me of my language... i am typing this at 1.30am with a lecture to attend tmr mornin.*

Just attended sat and sun sessions of FOP, i tot it was good. This yr's highlights were the Hillsong band led by Reuben Morgan, and the Parachute Band. Learnt some really nice worship songs that i can use.... hopeful i can become more diligent with my quiet time... I really need to change for the better.

Sun's session was more memorable. The cell group went to ice-skate at kallang leisure park before service stars. gosh i really cant skate! i felt totally helpless..really helpless. can't believe that kids can skate better than me. a young gal (around the height of my waist) looked at me with that o-my-god-you-cant-skate look, and i really felt like digging a hole in the ice and die. haha

well, thanks to the CG and howard, they encourage me to go 1 round the skating ring. well i may not have gained much in my skating capabilities during the 2 hrs, but i certainly set me thinking and reflective abt my life. sometimes, to achieve something, we must be dare to be different. just like me hanging around the edge of the ring, sticking to your comfort zone can give you the assurance of safety, but it really bring you no where. stepping out into the open gives you the risk of falling and injuries, we really must learn to fall and pick ourselves up to learn something in life. stay in safety, and we may stay the same forever.

will share the photos another day haha. nite!

Sch reopens in 2 days

whoa, 3 months of vacation is gonna end so soon... got my courses registered and ready for the new sem! i think its gonna be quite a busy sem ahead with so many modules.

I will be doing:

1. Fluid Systems (4AU)
2. Biomolecular Engineering II (3AU)
3. Computational methods in Chemical Engineering (3AU)
4. Chemical Thermodynamics (3AU)
5. Lab 3 (2AU)
6. Genes 'r' Us (3AU)
7. Thermodynamics and Kinetics of Materials (most likely)

... gosh looks tough, but I hope I can pull it through =)

My timetable....